27 November 2008
Snail Mail
If you have a friend living far from you, why not send them an old fashioned hand writen letter by post. It is a lovely surprise to receive something personal by mail and you are sure to make their day.
26 November 2008
25 November 2008
Keeping in contact with friends in your home country
Leaving your home country often involves a flurry of quick goodbyes to friends and family, and promises of “I’ll write!”, but many people’s experiences show that it is not easy to keep in contact with those back home.
One of the main reasons for this is that it does take much more effort to write to someone than to communicate with them in our normal day to day, face to face interactions. Many feel they are too busy, or the person slips from their mind because they don’t see them regularly. Realise that not all your friends who promised they would write will do so, and rather focus on those who are committed to maintaining contact. The quality of communication will be better when you have five friends to write to than trying to keep fifteen up to date with your new life.
Before you leave, try to gauge how interested various friends are in keeping contact, and discuss with them how you will do so. Try to set up a reliable way to get in touch with them as soon as possible after your arrival.
Nowadays there are many tools that are available to keep in touch. Consider investing in a notebook with a built-in camera – seeing the other person you are talking to can really make conversations come alive – and they are much less hassle than a separate webcam. You can take your laptop with you on business trips as well. Find out about the cost of phoning between countries (international call cards are often quite cheap) or use a programme such as Skype to make calls over the internet. Sign up for an online photo album, such as flickr, and upload photos regularly. Your annotations and the pictures of your environment are much more successful than letters in giving your loved ones a clear idea of what it is like to be you in your new home. Putting your profile onto a social networking site such as facebook will allow friends and family to view your site, and see what is happening in your life without having an email from you – this is especially helpful for those who are poor at keeping in touch. Social networking sites are a useful tool as each time you add or update your site, all your friends are automatically notified thereof when they log onto the site. Consider starting up a blog as on online diary.
Another topic to address is the content of what you write. Communication between friends often deteriorates when you can no longer relate to each other’s lives and experiences. What often happens is the person in the host country writes of their exciting new experiences, all the places they have visited, etc, and the person in the home country feels they have nothing to say because their life has stayed the same. When communicating with those in your home country, highlight day to day life – something funny one of your children said, an experience while grocery shopping, a good book you read – your friends need to know that you’re still the same person and they will feel more at ease with topics they can relate to. In talking about your new experiences, be careful not to boast about new luxuries you may have, your excellent financial situation, all the travel and holidays you are going on, etc. Friends may experience jealousy, and you also need to let them know about frustrations and problems you have to deal with. Also, communicating about your thoughts, emotions, etc will keep them more connected to you than long stories of where you went and what you saw. When things are not going well, and in the process of adjusting to culture shock you are feeling negative about the country and culture in which you find yourself, be careful not to use them to just ‘offload’ on and rant about all the things that frustrate and annoy you.
Friends and family at home can be a great support to you and provide an important link to your culture. They are usually your main social network in your first few weeks of being in a new country. Remember to thank them for keeping in touch with you and for being willing to put in the additional time and effort.
One of the main reasons for this is that it does take much more effort to write to someone than to communicate with them in our normal day to day, face to face interactions. Many feel they are too busy, or the person slips from their mind because they don’t see them regularly. Realise that not all your friends who promised they would write will do so, and rather focus on those who are committed to maintaining contact. The quality of communication will be better when you have five friends to write to than trying to keep fifteen up to date with your new life.
Before you leave, try to gauge how interested various friends are in keeping contact, and discuss with them how you will do so. Try to set up a reliable way to get in touch with them as soon as possible after your arrival.
Nowadays there are many tools that are available to keep in touch. Consider investing in a notebook with a built-in camera – seeing the other person you are talking to can really make conversations come alive – and they are much less hassle than a separate webcam. You can take your laptop with you on business trips as well. Find out about the cost of phoning between countries (international call cards are often quite cheap) or use a programme such as Skype to make calls over the internet. Sign up for an online photo album, such as flickr, and upload photos regularly. Your annotations and the pictures of your environment are much more successful than letters in giving your loved ones a clear idea of what it is like to be you in your new home. Putting your profile onto a social networking site such as facebook will allow friends and family to view your site, and see what is happening in your life without having an email from you – this is especially helpful for those who are poor at keeping in touch. Social networking sites are a useful tool as each time you add or update your site, all your friends are automatically notified thereof when they log onto the site. Consider starting up a blog as on online diary.
Another topic to address is the content of what you write. Communication between friends often deteriorates when you can no longer relate to each other’s lives and experiences. What often happens is the person in the host country writes of their exciting new experiences, all the places they have visited, etc, and the person in the home country feels they have nothing to say because their life has stayed the same. When communicating with those in your home country, highlight day to day life – something funny one of your children said, an experience while grocery shopping, a good book you read – your friends need to know that you’re still the same person and they will feel more at ease with topics they can relate to. In talking about your new experiences, be careful not to boast about new luxuries you may have, your excellent financial situation, all the travel and holidays you are going on, etc. Friends may experience jealousy, and you also need to let them know about frustrations and problems you have to deal with. Also, communicating about your thoughts, emotions, etc will keep them more connected to you than long stories of where you went and what you saw. When things are not going well, and in the process of adjusting to culture shock you are feeling negative about the country and culture in which you find yourself, be careful not to use them to just ‘offload’ on and rant about all the things that frustrate and annoy you.
Friends and family at home can be a great support to you and provide an important link to your culture. They are usually your main social network in your first few weeks of being in a new country. Remember to thank them for keeping in touch with you and for being willing to put in the additional time and effort.
24 November 2008
Beautiful Winelands
While in Cape Town we spent a two days visiting the Cape Winelands - a lush area of vineyards and fruit orchards surrounded by dramatic mountains and dotted with sweet historic towns. After we came home I made up this inspiration board with photos I had taken. Enjoy!
21 November 2008
Inspirational Cape Town
I completed this inspiration board of the 'Mother City' before I left - the bright bold colours capture the mood of the city on a Summer's day.
Pictures (from top to bottom, left to right) are of:
Cape point, the brightly painted houses of Bo-Kaap, dramatic Hex River Valley, fishing boats in Kalk Bay, vineyards of the Cape Winelands, the Waterfront with Table mountain in the background, vibrant beach huts on St James' beach, Cape Dutch style house in Stellenbosch, wine barrells, the cape penguin, and the University of Cape Town's campus.
20 November 2008
Cape Town
I recently spent a week in Cape Town visiting my sister who leads a beautiful life in this coastal city. Here we are watching penguins on the beach. My favourite experience was the bohemian atmosphere and elegant dilapidation of restaurant Olympia which serves delicious food and local wines in a historic café near Kalk bay harbour. We watched the chefs at work and the groups of people sitting at bare wooden tables with mismatched chairs, and afterwards walked out to the harbour lighthouse to enjoy the waves whipped up by the salty air.I thoroughly enjoyed the people of Cape Town –
much more relaxed than their inland city cousins, they seemed to taste more of life – people walking their dogs on the beach, flights kites over an estuary on the weekend, strolling in the forests that rise against the mountains… My sister told me that arriving any earlier than half an hour late for any social function led to awkward discomfort as the first and only guest taking up a lonely chair.I could live here, I told my husband.
He wisely reminded me that being on holiday in a place, and living there, are two entirely different things. There is a fair share of grief, loss and loneliness in leaving a home and setting up a new one. The hurdles to be overcome can sometimes obscure the view of the beautiful and exciting place you moved to, and your reasons and hopes for a fresh life.
To those of you who are seeing a gloomy and dark picture of life in a new place – go on a wander and remind yourself of the beauty of where you are and your aspirations in moving there.
19 November 2008
17 November 2008
Making friends in a new community
One of the greatest challenges facing those who have moved into a new community is making new friends and social contacts. Most experience feelings of loneliness with friends and family far away, and a lack of face-to-face contact with people in their new location. This is especially true for accompanying partners who may not be able to work and thus do not have a natural opportunity to meet and interact with others on a daily basis.
The best starting point in making contacts in a new environment is to realise that the people you meet have already got established social networks – they have a group of friends and there is no need for them to reach out and include you. It is up to you to take the initiative in meeting people.
How is this done? A great way to meet others socially is to join a group of people with a shared interest. Find out about classes offered in your area – a language course is always a good idea, and many communities offer interest courses such as dancing or scrapbooking. Dust off your old equipment and join a social sport club, such as football, squash, etc. This is probably the mostly easily available type of club. Find out if there is a club dedicated to a hobby in which you have an interest, e.g. model airplanes, a book club, etc. Churches and other religious institutions are usually extremely welcoming and often have regular meetings for specific groups such as young adults, mothers, businesspeople, etc. Consider volunteering for a few hours a week at a non profit organisation. This will involve you in the community and in a team environment. Ask colleagues and neighbours about clubs they know of, and peruse community notice boards, newspapers and internet sites. You may need to develop a new hobby or interest!
Try to move regularly in social areas where people have the opportunity to mingle, such as parks, beaches, markets and libraries. Introduce yourself to your neighbours, and if appropriate invite them over for a visit. Work colleagues can become friends, and are often your main social contacts, especially in the early stages of a move. If there are regular office social meetings, consider joining these. Remember though to be wary of allowing your entire social network to consist of work colleagues, as there are certain topics and problems that you will not be able to discuss, and this could leave you feeling isolated and lonely.
Involving yourself in social situations will increase your opportunities of meeting people, and go a long way in helping you to build new relationships.
The best starting point in making contacts in a new environment is to realise that the people you meet have already got established social networks – they have a group of friends and there is no need for them to reach out and include you. It is up to you to take the initiative in meeting people.
How is this done? A great way to meet others socially is to join a group of people with a shared interest. Find out about classes offered in your area – a language course is always a good idea, and many communities offer interest courses such as dancing or scrapbooking. Dust off your old equipment and join a social sport club, such as football, squash, etc. This is probably the mostly easily available type of club. Find out if there is a club dedicated to a hobby in which you have an interest, e.g. model airplanes, a book club, etc. Churches and other religious institutions are usually extremely welcoming and often have regular meetings for specific groups such as young adults, mothers, businesspeople, etc. Consider volunteering for a few hours a week at a non profit organisation. This will involve you in the community and in a team environment. Ask colleagues and neighbours about clubs they know of, and peruse community notice boards, newspapers and internet sites. You may need to develop a new hobby or interest!
Try to move regularly in social areas where people have the opportunity to mingle, such as parks, beaches, markets and libraries. Introduce yourself to your neighbours, and if appropriate invite them over for a visit. Work colleagues can become friends, and are often your main social contacts, especially in the early stages of a move. If there are regular office social meetings, consider joining these. Remember though to be wary of allowing your entire social network to consist of work colleagues, as there are certain topics and problems that you will not be able to discuss, and this could leave you feeling isolated and lonely.
Involving yourself in social situations will increase your opportunities of meeting people, and go a long way in helping you to build new relationships.
14 November 2008
Jacaranda Blossoms
It’s important to find things that you enjoy about the place you live. Today I am appreciative of the Jacarandas in bloom across the city, beautiful amethyst blossoms against the vibrant blue skies of summer.
12 November 2008
Starting 'a life abroad'
Living abroad - whether as an expatriate or an emigrant - is a challenging and immensely rewarding experience. I have embarked on blog writing to provide articles, counsel, helpful links, thoughts, inspiration and ideas for those who find themselves starting a new life in a place very different from their home.
Please add comments and feedback, let me know what you found helpful and what you would like to know more about.
Bon voyage, émigré!
Please add comments and feedback, let me know what you found helpful and what you would like to know more about.
Bon voyage, émigré!
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